3 Weeks

For 3 weeks, once again I was sucked in the vicious cycle I had tried so hard to get myself out of. One may call it a relapse. Another may call it being lazy.

All I can think of at this moment is how utterly disappointed I am with myself. I have become self-conscious, rethinking ten times before writing anything. Before writing was my escape but now it became work. I had lost what I used to cope. I no longer had a way to stop the constant nagging and worrying once again eating away my mind.

Thus, I had wanted to abandon my thoughts. I decided to neglect life for a few days. Few days became a week, a week became two and then three. I no longer want to stay awake at night. I just want to sleep. And finally, face my responsibilities. There is work to be done. And it can not be done by being nocturnal. But no matter how hard I try I can’t. It is easy to fall back into the cycle but coming out… is a whole new matter.

You may also like

5 Comments

  1. You have no idea how much I relate to this. I had a phase where I felt like I was drowning in the world, I completely shut myself out, neglected all my social media platforms and seemed to disappear, I felt so comfortable in my shell I had no intention of coming out. But I had responsibilities to meet and I simply had to. Sometimes life is just too overwhelming and you just need to detox all in your own. Hold tight 😘

  2. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but know that you never have to do it alone. I’m here to talk to if you need me. If you need a distraction, motivation, or a shoulder to cry on, I’m a message away. I can relate to this feeling as well, and it’s so hard when it feels like you’re falling in an abyss that won’t end. If you take a few moments to look, to shine a light, there’s a foothold somewhere. The climb back up might be grueling and ugly, but each day is progress. Take it slow, and hold on!
    -Author S