Jaded and Tired

I do not feel regret but rather I question my recent actions. I question my lack of presence on this blog. I question my choice to miss my classes. I question my sudden choice to¬†opt out of my last minute trip to D.C to comfort my sister. I question my need to sleep so much these days, at least 12 to 15 hours. I truly wonder what my reasons are behind my actions. I have been living day by day, a huge leap for someone like me who only could see from ten steps ahead of her. However, I have […]

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Just Kill Me Already

Not knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing, or in my case not knowing why I’m not doing anything kills me. Especially for someone like me who is too aware of everything. People have been disappearing from my life…figuratively. They’re there but not really. There is really no one to blame. It’s a proof of life just moving ahead. Yet, despite the years I fought to start walking forward again, I’ve been set on staying in place these days. Time is moving but I’m not. It’s almost as if I’m afraid. From what, who knows. The worst is knowing with […]

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3 Weeks

For 3 weeks, once again I was sucked in the vicious cycle I had tried so hard to get myself out of. One may call it a relapse. Another may call it being lazy. All I can think of at this moment is how utterly disappointed I am with myself. I have become self-conscious, rethinking ten times before writing anything. Before writing was my escape but now it became work. I had lost what I used to cope. I no longer had a way to stop the constant nagging and worrying once again eating away my mind. Thus, I had […]

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