I do not feel regret but rather I question my recent actions. I question my lack of presence on this blog. I question my choice to miss my classes. I question my sudden choice to opt out of my last minute trip to D.C to comfort my sister. I question my need to sleep so much these days, at least 12 to 15 hours.
I truly wonder what my reasons are behind my actions. I have been living day by day, a huge leap for someone like me who only could see from ten steps ahead of her. However, I have now been barely skimming through the days, focusing on surviving. There is no meaning as to each day but rather the idea of somehow just getting through it.
And no, it does not mean I am drowning in sadness. Such a life is common among people. We lose purpose. Yet, I have not lost purpose. I know exactly what I need to and want to do. Still, however, I choose to break apart my routine day by day despite it being necessary for my future (whatever that future is). And it leads me to question my choice again.