Lack of Will

A sudden urge of anger coursed through me at not finding my workout clothes. I used to have anger problems but not anymore. I was rather looking for an excuse subconsciously to not workout.

Rather it was not me trying to avoid working out, but rather my attempt of avoiding all work in general. For the past three weeks, I have just been doing the bare minimum to get by. I would do the assignments last minute and barely touch my writing. However, it clashed with the huge list of work I expected to get done during this summer. I had wanted to feel fulfilled at the end of this, but I already feel empty.

Knowing myself I have to keep myself extremely busy to get extra work done. Weirdly enough, when I’m already not busy I don’t even have the energy to touch any side work at all. Which sucks.

When you lack the will despite knowing you have to get it done… yeah it just sucks. You can’t even have fun properly, knowing subconsciously in the back of your mind you’re missing something. Fulfillment. Satisfaction. The emotion of just letting loose after a well productive day is indescribable. Well, at least personally for me.

I should make the right decision by taking out my books and start studying for my huge upcoming exam right now instead of writing this. But clearly, I’m not making the right decision.

So, what do I do? How do you go from nothing to something, when it comes to having the will to do anything?

Stop saying tomorrow and say today. When I see I’m not getting anything done by mid-day, a bad habit I have is I put my foot down saying its okay, I’ll get it together and get all my work done tomorrow. I end up allowing myself to be lazy for the rest of the day, “waiting for tomorrow” to come so I can get work done.

However, if you’re not getting anything done today, neither will you tomorrow. It’s depressing but it’s true.

So, I’m going to get my act together and actually get stuff done today. I hope you can too if you currently lack the will like I do.

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6 Comments

  1. I love this. That destructive cycle is so relatable; nothing gets done and you feel so deflated and useless that the idea of doing things becomes unattractive too x