Jaded and Tired

I do not feel regret but rather I question my recent actions. I question my lack of presence on this blog. I question my choice to miss my classes. I question my sudden choice to opt out of my last minute trip to D.C to comfort my sister. I question my need to sleep so much these days, at least 12 to 15 hours. I truly wonder what my reasons are behind my actions. I have been living day by day, a huge leap for someone like me who only could see from ten steps ahead of her. However, I have […]

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The Wrong People

I may have mentioned it before, that I’m amazing with cutting toxic people out of my life. Perhaps too good at it. It comes at the expense of having a lot of crappy people in my life. And when I say crappy people, I don’t mean they were necessarily horrible people. In fact from the point of view of others, they were amazing individuals. However, in the end, they were the wrong people for me. The old me would wonder how is it possible for everyone to be the same? I was confused as to the fact that there weren’t […]

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To Not Care

Flakers. There exist a few individuals in one’s life where their words value to nothing. However, I truly believed that someone made the time for you if they believed you’re already worth it or worth the investment thinking you would become someone to them. It could be with the expectation of becoming a person they met once in a while but gave you a good time or a best friend you would spend a lifetime knowing. But my belief shattered after meeting several frustratingly new people in my life that told me I was growing in a generation where the […]

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When the Past is No Longer Relevant

I was going through my old blog, thinking what piece of writing I could reuse. It was the attempt to keep up with my present blog despite my lack of inspiration. However, as I read on and on, I couldn’t think of reposting any of it without cutting some parts out from here or there. But it still wouldn’t work. The entirety of my words was completely in the moment back then. It was to the point that I could no longer relate those very words to my present. My past self, who had written them, were no longer relevant. […]

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Having No Expectations

I’m greedy. I have selfish wants to fulfill. Happiness to achieve. Desires to be met. But it also just means that I’m human. And when you’re human, constant expectation haunt you. Like… I expect you to love me because I love you. I expect you to care because I’m trying every day to make you care as much as I do. I expect to do well because I’m studying my ass off for this exam. Yet often our expectations don’t match up with the results, and it hurts like hell. So like a mantra I try to brainwash myself to imagine […]

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The Trend To Have A Relationship

I felt unsure and unwanted. Recently there has become a trend to have boyfriends. It may seem an immature topic but it’s a relevant one for me. For a 19-year-old girl like me to never have had a boyfriend shocks others and becomes an automatic topic of interest when meeting new people. And to meet two young girls yesterday, only 17 years old going through what I went through, pulled on my heartstrings. Those girls and I are surrounded by people of our age group that believes that their relationship with their other half is a huge part of their […]

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