I felt unsure and unwanted. Recently there has become a trend to have boyfriends. It may seem an immature topic but it’s a relevant one for me. For a 19-year-old girl like me to never have had a boyfriend shocks others and becomes an automatic topic of interest when meeting new people. And to meet two young girls yesterday, only 17 years old going through what I went through, pulled on my heartstrings. Those girls and I are surrounded by people of our age group that believes that their relationship with their other half is a huge part of their life. Almost to the point that conversations are mainly about which guy or girl they’re into. Soon, girls like me end up becoming interested in the idea of a boyfriend, not the actual idea of being with that certain person. Both males and females become excited easily just by the show of interest from another person, no longer asking themselves, do I even like this person? Relationships have become a matter of possessing them, they were no longer a natural part of life. Comforting those girls and telling them they were okay. Reassuring them that they were normal was as if I was comforting my younger and present self. However, it’s a process when fighting yourself and everything that’s telling you that being alone is not okay. There really is no result. Or at least, I have yet to see one.
However, I remember when I was speaking to my mother about feeling undesirable and wondering why I was still single she responded,
The flowers that bloom late are the ones that last the longest.
There is nothing wrong with going with the flow and following the trend. You bloomed quickly but nevertheless, you bloomed into who you are and wish to be. However, just as so blooming slowly is okay as well. You will bloom nevertheless as well, but everyone has their own timeline. And allowing yourself the time and peace to not feel rushed to find someone is respecting the idea of you naturally finding someone at your own time and pace. Only then can you find a relationship that is worthwhile.